It goes without saying that dealing with grief is the most difficult challenge. Each day we see a little bit more happiness than the day before. At this point we are pretty much sequestered to the hotel room and only go out to eat two floors below us. Thus you will be subjected to my observations and in an attempt to maintain sanity.
When Wren decides it is time to go she has a few routines that she follows to comfort herself and one of them reminds me very much of a scene from Steve Martin's "The Jerk". The-all I need is...and then I am leaving bit.
First, is her putting on her shoes. (on the wrong feet mind you, but the shoes are so big it doesn't make much difference anyways-plus it is super cute-she is very attached to them perhaps because they are a connection to her foster mom, or she's 2.5 and just loves them-so replacing them with a pair that fits is a battle for another day) These little kicks have built in squeakers, and after time, the squeak tones develop their own language. There is excited squeak, angry squeak, and sad squeak. Example. Squeaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueak is happy. SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK is angry, and squeeeeeak squeeeeeeak squeee.... is sad. I can tell her mood if I close my eyes.
Shoes on, almost ready to go. Now she wants to comb her hair and put on a bow only when she knows we are leaving. One cannot leave without a proper hair brushing. This is followed by the individual contents of her backpack which consists of the various things she likes.
Now she has recognized that you need a key card to leave and work the elevator. So, the room key is a must. Now the scene is setup for you...
Wren: I'm leaving, and I need are these squeaky shoes and hair clip and nothing else, and that's all I need...except for these "delicious" (sounds like "How Choo") Cheerios, and that's all I need...and this toy phone, and nothing else. That's all I need...except for this toy phone that plays songs I like. I need my squeaky shoes, hair clip, delicious cheerios, magic wand and toy phone. I 'm leaving...and this banana too. I'm taking this banana and all this stuff is all I need. Oh, and this water bottle, in case I get thirsty, but that's it. I'm leaving and you can't stop me. I have all I need...and this...this photo album. In case I want to look at pictures...and I'll need these crayons and sketch book too- I may need to color, but THAT is all I need. (meanwhile she paces around the room while collecting her loot and loses one shoe- so you hear a thump-squeak, thump-squeak) Let me take this backpack too, and these fruit leathers, and the yogurt drink ("Da-Ha-Ha") , and the Ni Hao Kai-Lan see and say...and that's it. That's all I need. Here-take this key card. My hands are full so I will need you to open the door and work the elevator for me. It has been fun, you guys are great, but I gotta go. Thanks for the stuff. Now picture her with all of this stuff in her arms backpack slung on her shoulder with one shoe on negotiating. My dad's phrase, "well, strike a trot" comes to mind. We laugh in our delirium at the situation. She is upset, but see's us laughing so she realizes she will have to up the ante next time. This baby's brain is working overtime.
In my last post, I foreshadowed that FM (in her ultimate wisdom) removed Wren's diaper, here comes the payoff. Wren does not like me to touch or hold her. She finds me amusing at times, but it is on her own terms. Shana is shouldering the load. Literally. Her back hurts now (2.5 days of constant holding is taking its toll), because Wren does not like to be put down or walk on her own. Shana set her down next to the bed so she could lie on the bed. Instinct set in and I picked up Wren, set her standing on my lap and was preparing to hand her off when....... Niagra freaking falls all in my lap. AHHHHHHHHHHH FOSTER MOM!!!!!!!!!!!! I made Captain Kirk from Wrath of Kahn when he gets marooned by Khan seem like a pansy.
The rest of the night was difficult she was still grieving and about 1 am it died down and we went to sleep. It is important to note, that Wren has not had a bowel movement since we got her. Dateline: Thursday 4:30 am. After the flooding incident, I made sure our little beauty was fit for purpose before going to bed, so there would be no worries. I was sleeping on the edge of the bed (snuck in after Wren was asleep) so the order was Me, Wren, Shana, and Trinity was blissfully asleep on the couch pulled up next to the other side of the bed. I felt a little foot kick me in the back but I wasn't sure, then I heard some sounds like restless sleep and figured Wren had turned over. In a few moments I though to myself, "wow, Wren has some really bad breath". Then I heard Wren taking off her diaper, and jumped up, thinking-uh-uhn, not gonna happen. She took her diaper off and started crying. She hates being dirty. I don't quite remember who had the realization first, but the light went on...and...there...it...was. Poopageddon.
4:30 am adrenaline rush. Help clean Wren, clean me, clean Shana, call housekeeping. (meanwhile Trinity is sawing logs) I call housekeeping. How may we help you? Our daughter went to the restroom in the bed. I'm sorry, restroom? We need new sheets there has been an accident in the bed. Accident. You want a pillow?(Please Lord, give me the gift of speaking in tongues, I can't think to translate now-my brain-the pile it is like Spider from Trainspotting-have mercy- No, I need sheets. How many? All. Hurry.
We continued to clean frantically. Cover the pile. Door knocks. Looks like a manager, he has one sheet. One sheet! Talk about bringing a knife to a gun fight. I pulled back the sheet to reveal the carnage and I could hear the themed to Psycho. Manager guys, turns and leaves. Obviously now realizes the graveness of the situation. he returns by himself with more sheets. He doesn't know what he is doing-moving to slow. I help him, Shana directs-no, grabs the ends and fold to the middle-the ends are clean- I keep hearing the ends are clean-then ends are clean...At last, the storm passes and the sheets are replaced. Adrenaline subsides and we collapse. All the while Trinity slept.
A few hours later we woke up. Today is the day we will get a "tour" of Nanning. We have not seen much of Nanning because we have been staying in our room trying to do our best not to overstimulate Wren. Not sure if this is possible, but we are trying. The Tour consists of one museum and a park. This city is gi-normous. Most of it new and accelerating growth like steroids. Huge structures going up in bunches. This is a "smaller" city with only 6.5 million people.
We went to a scenic mountain park to get a view of the city.
When Wren decides it is time to go she has a few routines that she follows to comfort herself and one of them reminds me very much of a scene from Steve Martin's "The Jerk". The-all I need is...and then I am leaving bit.
First, is her putting on her shoes. (on the wrong feet mind you, but the shoes are so big it doesn't make much difference anyways-plus it is super cute-she is very attached to them perhaps because they are a connection to her foster mom, or she's 2.5 and just loves them-so replacing them with a pair that fits is a battle for another day) These little kicks have built in squeakers, and after time, the squeak tones develop their own language. There is excited squeak, angry squeak, and sad squeak. Example. Squeaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueak is happy. SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK is angry, and squeeeeeak squeeeeeeak squeee.... is sad. I can tell her mood if I close my eyes.
Shoes on, almost ready to go. Now she wants to comb her hair and put on a bow only when she knows we are leaving. One cannot leave without a proper hair brushing. This is followed by the individual contents of her backpack which consists of the various things she likes.
Now she has recognized that you need a key card to leave and work the elevator. So, the room key is a must. Now the scene is setup for you...
Wren: I'm leaving, and I need are these squeaky shoes and hair clip and nothing else, and that's all I need...except for these "delicious" (sounds like "How Choo") Cheerios, and that's all I need...and this toy phone, and nothing else. That's all I need...except for this toy phone that plays songs I like. I need my squeaky shoes, hair clip, delicious cheerios, magic wand and toy phone. I 'm leaving...and this banana too. I'm taking this banana and all this stuff is all I need. Oh, and this water bottle, in case I get thirsty, but that's it. I'm leaving and you can't stop me. I have all I need...and this...this photo album. In case I want to look at pictures...and I'll need these crayons and sketch book too- I may need to color, but THAT is all I need. (meanwhile she paces around the room while collecting her loot and loses one shoe- so you hear a thump-squeak, thump-squeak) Let me take this backpack too, and these fruit leathers, and the yogurt drink ("Da-Ha-Ha") , and the Ni Hao Kai-Lan see and say...and that's it. That's all I need. Here-take this key card. My hands are full so I will need you to open the door and work the elevator for me. It has been fun, you guys are great, but I gotta go. Thanks for the stuff. Now picture her with all of this stuff in her arms backpack slung on her shoulder with one shoe on negotiating. My dad's phrase, "well, strike a trot" comes to mind. We laugh in our delirium at the situation. She is upset, but see's us laughing so she realizes she will have to up the ante next time. This baby's brain is working overtime.
In my last post, I foreshadowed that FM (in her ultimate wisdom) removed Wren's diaper, here comes the payoff. Wren does not like me to touch or hold her. She finds me amusing at times, but it is on her own terms. Shana is shouldering the load. Literally. Her back hurts now (2.5 days of constant holding is taking its toll), because Wren does not like to be put down or walk on her own. Shana set her down next to the bed so she could lie on the bed. Instinct set in and I picked up Wren, set her standing on my lap and was preparing to hand her off when....... Niagra freaking falls all in my lap. AHHHHHHHHHHH FOSTER MOM!!!!!!!!!!!! I made Captain Kirk from Wrath of Kahn when he gets marooned by Khan seem like a pansy.
The rest of the night was difficult she was still grieving and about 1 am it died down and we went to sleep. It is important to note, that Wren has not had a bowel movement since we got her. Dateline: Thursday 4:30 am. After the flooding incident, I made sure our little beauty was fit for purpose before going to bed, so there would be no worries. I was sleeping on the edge of the bed (snuck in after Wren was asleep) so the order was Me, Wren, Shana, and Trinity was blissfully asleep on the couch pulled up next to the other side of the bed. I felt a little foot kick me in the back but I wasn't sure, then I heard some sounds like restless sleep and figured Wren had turned over. In a few moments I though to myself, "wow, Wren has some really bad breath". Then I heard Wren taking off her diaper, and jumped up, thinking-uh-uhn, not gonna happen. She took her diaper off and started crying. She hates being dirty. I don't quite remember who had the realization first, but the light went on...and...there...it...was. Poopageddon.
4:30 am adrenaline rush. Help clean Wren, clean me, clean Shana, call housekeeping. (meanwhile Trinity is sawing logs) I call housekeeping. How may we help you? Our daughter went to the restroom in the bed. I'm sorry, restroom? We need new sheets there has been an accident in the bed. Accident. You want a pillow?(Please Lord, give me the gift of speaking in tongues, I can't think to translate now-my brain-the pile it is like Spider from Trainspotting-have mercy- No, I need sheets. How many? All. Hurry.
We continued to clean frantically. Cover the pile. Door knocks. Looks like a manager, he has one sheet. One sheet! Talk about bringing a knife to a gun fight. I pulled back the sheet to reveal the carnage and I could hear the themed to Psycho. Manager guys, turns and leaves. Obviously now realizes the graveness of the situation. he returns by himself with more sheets. He doesn't know what he is doing-moving to slow. I help him, Shana directs-no, grabs the ends and fold to the middle-the ends are clean- I keep hearing the ends are clean-then ends are clean...At last, the storm passes and the sheets are replaced. Adrenaline subsides and we collapse. All the while Trinity slept.
A few hours later we woke up. Today is the day we will get a "tour" of Nanning. We have not seen much of Nanning because we have been staying in our room trying to do our best not to overstimulate Wren. Not sure if this is possible, but we are trying. The Tour consists of one museum and a park. This city is gi-normous. Most of it new and accelerating growth like steroids. Huge structures going up in bunches. This is a "smaller" city with only 6.5 million people.
We went to a scenic mountain park to get a view of the city.
Dog.
Rooster.
Snake.
and our "golden" pig.
Seizing the opportunity,Trinity got her cowgirl on-
and some Kung Fu goodness
Then Trin and I hiked up the Pagoda. Amazing view. Shana stayed in the car with Wren. Wise choice it was about 10 stories tall, no a/c and a narrow staircase.
Dude was up top strumming away. sounded cool on the way up.
Now it was off to the Guangxi Minority Cultural Museum.
This was a pretty amazing place. Here we can find out about Wren's ethnicity, which we believe is Zhuang. It chronicles the customs and clothing, and we could buy a souvenir unique to her city.
Cool Kung Fu stuff too.
Look who I got to finally hold after 4 days. She was asleep so I snuck in undetected.
I took full advantage of the situation.
Once we got back the sprinkler malfunctioned in our room. Chaos ensued, but we got an Upgrade!!! the night before, Wren did a faceplant and got a carpet burn on her chin. So some of the future picks will show her "owwie".
Later that evening I could tell that she was still pretty sad. Then my parental instincts set in. I had scoped out a little children's play park in the mall, and there was ice cream at the KFC. Those two combined are a guaranteed smile maker. We went to KFC first and once I had the cone I quickly touched her lips with the ice cream (knowing she would not try it from me) Her tongue quickly darted out and her head nodded. I had her, hook, line and sinker. How Choo! How Choo! (delicious)
Afterwards we went to the park and she completely lit up, she ran and played and was a happy as a 2.5 year old could be. It did our hearts good after all she had been through in the past few days. It actually made me tear up a bit. She deserved some unbridled joy and I was happy to contribute.
Shana came up to me later and said, "ice cream makes everything better". And who can argue?
Boy, does this bring back memories!
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