This time it is much harder. (This is the 4th surgery in less than 2 years) Shana began doing more research, we had been intentionally ignorant. The surgery itself has a tremendous risk factor of less than 1%. It's the other that we didn't think about. The heart and lung machine-loss of oxygen-potential for strokes afterwards, and then the surgeon told us that she has about 20 years with her existing heart. It will have to be replaced.
So, here we are. It is happening now. No more wait. It's completely out of our hands, and quite frankly, it sucks. We chose the path and are walking it, and right now it sucks. I won't lie.
The six weeks leading up to this have been sweeter, the moments have been savored, the night time rituals counted down. I would often find myself just staring at her and watching, taking it in. Listening to her voice. Trying to take the pictures with my mind. She and her sister played together yesterday and it was very sweet. Very fitting. Picture perfect.
|Liking the TV setup & the phone "GIGI" keeps calling|