Monday, July 9, 2012

Be careful what you wish for...

We have known the date for sometime (July 6th =pre-op/July 9th=surgery), but somehow figured that if I didn't publish it, it wouldn't happen...that the extra time we had been given with her would naturally extend.

This time it is much harder. (This is the 4th surgery in less than 2 years) Shana began doing more research, we had been intentionally ignorant. The surgery itself has a tremendous risk factor of less than 1%.  It's the other that we didn't think about. The heart and lung machine-loss of oxygen-potential for strokes afterwards, and then the surgeon told us that she has about 20 years with her existing heart. It will have to be replaced.

So, here we are. It is happening now. No more wait. It's completely out of our hands, and quite frankly, it sucks. We chose the path and are walking it, and right now it sucks. I won't lie.

The six weeks leading up to this have been sweeter, the moments have been savored, the night time rituals counted down. I would often find myself just staring at her and watching, taking it in.  Listening to her voice. Trying to take the pictures with my mind. She and her sister played together yesterday and it was very sweet. Very fitting. Picture perfect.

Liking the TV setup & the phone "GIGI" keeps calling 

1 comment:

  1. Hi Wren

    My name is Jenna. You are a brave courageous fighter. you are a special miracle from god, a gift from above, earthly angel,and you are a smilen hero. You are full of happiness, life, smiles, joy, fun,love, and spunk.

    I was born with a rare life threatening disease, and have 14 other medical conditions, and developmental delays.

    I wrote this poem
    Each of us are Special
    Each of us different,
    No one is the same
    Each of are us are unique in our own way,
    Those of us who have challenges, we smile through our day.
    Those who of us who have challenges, we smile through our day.
    It doesn't matter what others say
    we are special anyway.
    What is forty feet and sings? the school chior