Thank You All for Your Kind Words and Thoughts

I wanted to interrupt our regularly scheduled program to thank each and everyone of you who have thought about us and/or sent us emails of caring and support during this time.

It really means a great deal to us, and I apologize for the impersonal blanket "thank you".

Facebook is blocked here as well as our blog. (Google too) We have a tremendous helper on the outside hooking us up with the blog posts, and she is going to be headed this way at the end of this month!!

So any friend requests that have been set recently, I promise we are not blowing you off. Well, except for maybe that Gary guy. I don't even know who he is. 9^)

I am doing my best to keep this current, but sometimes it is hard to write as the days are exhausting. Please keep up the faith and thank you all for the love and support. We are archiving all of this for Wren (and us too), and it is very moving to see the support this little girl has from the other side of the world from those she has never even met.

A whole lotta love going on here.

P.S.- I did finally get my kiss.

It's a Blessing and a Kiss

.....and now for something completely different...

we are visiting a 1,500 year old Buddhist monastery for a non denominational blessing for our child. It is raining on the way and our guide jokes that it means we are distinguished guests, and then it really starts pouring an she's says, "very distinguished".

The name of the Pagoda is the Six Banyan Trees.

Usually you can walk to the top but it is under renovation. Our guide did not recommend it, she said that it leans much like the Tower of Pisa.

Outside you can smell the thick incense burning even in the rain. Here you can make a wish and light some incense, the more people who help you wish the better your chances. The catch is that if it comes true then you have to come back and give them "their props".

After hurriedly walking through the courtyard (due to the rain) we went into the main temple. I could not help but notice that the monk (who would later chant) was texting on his blackberry. Buddha must have told him to get to work.

The Buddhas inside represent the Past, Present and Future. The purpose is a blessing for you and your child (the new family) to live a long and happy life together throughout all time. (longevity and peace are common themes throughout China) While very simplistic (aside from close to 6 tons of sculpture) it is a very moving ceremony. You have the rhythmic chanting, the sound of the rain, the wind, the smell of the incense, stillness, and your family next to you. You can think whatever you want. I did not see it as a prayer more an acknowledgment of life. I got a rush of emotions as this was a moment when all else stopped and I got a chance to reflect.

Wren is like, "What do you want from me?"

After that we piled back into the van and did some shopping at the Government market. Incredible hand made crafts. Trinity got some great shots.

This guy paints only with his hands and fingers, all that you see there.

Beautiful. Most of the landscapes are from the city of Guilin in the Guangxi province (province is like a state for us- this is the same province where Wren is from). Unfortunately we were not able to visit there this time.

Then this other guy carves your name into a chop. which is used for your signature. He translates your name into Chinese characters.

He's working on a "Tarver" above. I took him about 10 minutes. Absolutely amazing craftsmanship.

Then we went back to the hotel. On the way I played a little game with Trinity. I kissed her and made a big production of it and then kissed Mommy. Wren watched curiously an then mimicked and gave mommy her first kiss! Then Trinity got one! Then daddy got DENIED! (cue Family Feud buzzer sound effect)

One more thing, I made a deal with my niece Gracie this summer on her birthday. She had a special wish, and I told her that it was a good one. (I invoked the special Uncle exception to sharing your birthday wish Rule 7 article 9 section 10) I offered to share my birthday wish, and wish for the same thing too. So, here is my promise, sweetie. Love you!

Always Darkest Before Dawn

Rough night last night. I looked after Wren so Shana could get a few hours of sleep. I counted down the hours until we had to go to the medical appointment. (seems like I am doing a lot of counting down lately)
 

We ate at the buffet and the view was spectacular. The restaurant is on the 30th floor and is a circle. (like Spindletop in Houston) It is called the Carousel and you can walk around and get a 360 degree view of the city. I'll get some pictures later, I have to be cool for the first couple of days. Not too touristy. I wouldn't want to stand out or anything. 9^)

The van picked us up and we met another family from Wisconsin who had also recently adopted. (they used the same agency as us) We began the Bataan Death march. (audience yells- ...and it was hot) We entered the medical center.

Now, if you are a Beatles fan (or not), then you may or may not know about the White album. Play Revolution #9 as loud as you can, and layer in some extra tracks of children screaming. and I mean screaming. then mix it in with one of those hot yoga classes. Then step in the shower fully clothed and get really wet. Now, hold your scared child and get pulled into a room with a doctor who does not speak English, and puts a stethoscope up to your child's heart, gets a mortified look on her face and immediately calls in a second doctor who then repeats the same gesture-all the while you can tell something is up, but they won't tell you (or can't because of the language issue)- head shaking as if, damn! that's a problem. Only to finally read her chart to find out that she has not had her surgery yet. then act like it is ok, no big deal, don't panic. Ah, yeah. You just panicked and you are a doctor.- We know what she has is bad, that is why WE ARE HERE TO HELP HER. I felt my index finger at the ready. someone was getting a poke. The doctor gave up on checking her ears and she would not give him his tongue depressor back. (she's a tough little one)

On to the EN&T. Seemed to go all right. Now we wait for the last part. The vaccinations. We thought we might get a stay of execution because of her condition, we have a doctors note from back home saying that the stress would not be good for her. They decide that since she is not dead that she can still get the shots. Only 4 though, and a TB test. Now we wait for about 30 minutes. There is one small cool air blowing thing, I will not call it an air conditioner, because this contraption aspires to be one, it however was not. Anyways, I centered us in front of it. One by one I saw the line get shorter, calm kids go in, hysterical ones come out.

XIA RUN LE! XIA RUN LE! At first, I didn't recognize her name (the one the orphanage gave her- the Xia is for her province), I held her so mommy could be spared the worst of it. She was not happy, that I was holding her, but there was no way out. I watched in horror as they jabbed and squeezed and jabbed with nary a word of comfort. Just a cold, assembly line mentality. It was worse for me than for her. I was thinking-come on! she's 2.5! I was outraged and there was not a damn thing I could do about it. She was screaming and hollering in such pain. Helpless. I felt like the lowest of the lows. First I take her from her family, all that she knows and loves, put her with strangers, take her back to see her old family seemingly almost as a taunt, move her to a new city, overstimulate her with people/chaos/planes, exhaust her, and then give her shots. Talk about breaking somebody. She was weeping in Shana's arms and I leaned over and said (this is what it sounds like) "Doy Boo Chee" which means "I'm sorry" and she looked up at me and then buried her head in Shana's shoulder and cried harder. I was sleep deprived and exhausted, and hopefully that would be the end of it.

We went back to the hotel that afternoon and I fell asleep for 3 hours. When I got up, I played a Chinese CD of Children's lullaby's I got in Nanning. She was looking sad with her head down, and as soon as she heard it she instantly perked up. She sang and danced and acted silly, much like the happy child we had only seen glimpses of. I had also bought some DVD's of a popular cartoon here called "Pleasant Goat", and we all watched them together. With momentum on my side, I decided to take the girls to the pool. We thought it might be an "iffy" situation, but much like bubbles and ice cream, pools seem to have a positive effect on children...and yet again it worked. Things were on an uptick. When she came back from the pool we went to dinner and she let me feed her. Once we got back to the hotel, she took her shoes off, as if to say, ok, I'll stay.

So Long Nanning, I Barely Knew Ye

I feel like I have been here for nearly a week and know nothing more about this town than when I got here. Typically I like to learn as much as I can about a city and or country before I go there. I read some on the internet and the city was grossly misrepresented. I had high hopes for the city tour, however, our tour was lackluster at best. (sorry to go negative so soon)

After the other day I have been ready to leave, I keep thinking FM is going to mysteriously appear somewhere or something else is going to happen and they are going to take Wren away. I know it is a silly notion, but sleep deprivation takes its toll on the weary mind.

Let's switch to pictures.

Here are some shots of the hotel and mall area.

This building was entirely gold colored. Interesting.

 

This is the view from the corner of the mall. Massive structures in the distance.

The big building looks like it is eating the smaller one.

The view from the hotel looking the opposite way.

The view of the mall from the crosswalk, and the fitting descent into the bowels of Wal Mart.

Here is our room after the sprinkler incident.
Check out the Pizza Hut menu.. Not your typical fare by any means.

Trinity got a new hat

We had some time to kill so I played with the camera.

...The-shoe-being-on-the-other-foot...

It will feel good to leave, like we get to start anew somewhere else and move forward.

At long last we headed to the airport. Shana made the fatal mistake of not going before we left. The price she paid for her lack of foresight was a gas station squatty. (shudder)

The the airport. Let me see, how can I describe the experience...Well, it was hot. We all were sweating profusely. then we had to do a cattle car through the terminal, our gate was the least one, it was hot, we waited in line to get to the front to tell us that they had switched gates (maybe the lady with the loudspeaker yelling something and our line quickly moving away had something to do with it, and it was still hot, so I just cut in line, to hell with it. I was hot. this gate did not lead ot the magic plane, though, oh no, it led to the tram. Which was hot. and crowded. We lurched about 50 yards and then got off on the tarmac, an ditto was...dark (betcha thought I was gonna say "hot") So, we got on board. and waited. Cue wren's meltdown in 3...2..1. We sat on the runway for about 45 mins and then were off to Guangzhou. The flight was about an hour and poor little Wren eventually collapsed from exhaustion. We landed and got our bags and it was still hot. (nighttime now)

After a 50 min drive we arrived at our hotel and slept as best we could. The next day was to be the dreaded medical checkup where your child can receive up to 8 shots at one sitting. Really really not looking forward to that.

Oh, I meant to mention earlier in our trip that we knew something special was going to happen while in Nanning. "All it takes is a little faith and trust..."

Ice Cream Makes Everything Better

It goes without saying that dealing with grief is the most difficult challenge. Each day we see a little bit more happiness than the day before. At this point we are pretty much sequestered to the hotel room and only go out to eat two floors below us. Thus you will be subjected to my observations and in an attempt to maintain sanity.

When Wren decides it is time to go she has a few routines that she follows to comfort herself and one of them reminds me very much of a scene from Steve Martin's "The Jerk". The-all I need is...and then I am leaving bit.

First, is her putting on her shoes. (on the wrong feet mind you, but the shoes are so big it doesn't make much difference anyways-plus it is super cute-she is very attached to them perhaps because they are a connection to her foster mom, or she's 2.5 and just loves them-so replacing them with a pair that fits is a battle for another day) These little kicks have built in squeakers, and after time, the squeak tones develop their own language. There is excited squeak, angry squeak, and sad squeak. Example. Squeaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueak is happy. SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK is angry, and squeeeeeak squeeeeeeak squeee.... is sad. I can tell her mood if I close my eyes.

Shoes on, almost ready to go. Now she wants to comb her hair and put on a bow only when she knows we are leaving. One cannot leave without a proper hair brushing. This is followed by the individual contents of her backpack which consists of the various things she likes.

Now she has recognized that you need a key card to leave and work the elevator. So, the room key is a must. Now the scene is setup for you...

Wren: I'm leaving, and I need are these squeaky shoes and hair clip and nothing else, and that's all I need...except for these "delicious" (sounds like "How Choo") Cheerios, and that's all I need...and this toy phone, and nothing else. That's all I need...except for this toy phone that plays songs I like. I need my squeaky shoes, hair clip, delicious cheerios, magic wand and toy phone. I 'm leaving...and this banana too. I'm taking this banana and all this stuff is all I need. Oh, and this water bottle, in case I get thirsty, but that's it. I'm leaving and you can't stop me. I have all I need...and this...this photo album. In case I want to look at pictures...and I'll need these crayons and sketch book too- I may need to color, but THAT is all I need. (meanwhile she paces around the room while collecting her loot and loses one shoe- so you hear a thump-squeak, thump-squeak) Let me take this backpack too, and these fruit leathers, and the yogurt drink ("Da-Ha-Ha") , and the Ni Hao Kai-Lan see and say...and that's it. That's all I need. Here-take this key card. My hands are full so I will need you to open the door and work the elevator for me. It has been fun, you guys are great, but I gotta go. Thanks for the stuff. Now picture her with all of this stuff in her arms backpack slung on her shoulder with one shoe on negotiating. My dad's phrase, "well, strike a trot" comes to mind. We laugh in our delirium at the situation. She is upset, but see's us laughing so she realizes she will have to up the ante next time. This baby's brain is working overtime.

In my last post, I foreshadowed that FM (in her ultimate wisdom) removed Wren's diaper, here comes the payoff. Wren does not like me to touch or hold her. She finds me amusing at times, but it is on her own terms. Shana is shouldering the load. Literally. Her back hurts now (2.5 days of constant holding is taking its toll), because Wren does not like to be put down or walk on her own. Shana set her down next to the bed so she could lie on the bed. Instinct set in and I picked up Wren, set her standing on my lap and was preparing to hand her off when....... Niagra freaking falls all in my lap. AHHHHHHHHHHH FOSTER MOM!!!!!!!!!!!! I made Captain Kirk from Wrath of Kahn when he gets marooned by Khan seem like a pansy.

The rest of the night was difficult she was still grieving and about 1 am it died down and we went to sleep. It is important to note, that Wren has not had a bowel movement since we got her. Dateline: Thursday 4:30 am. After the flooding incident, I made sure our little beauty was fit for purpose before going to bed, so there would be no worries. I was sleeping on the edge of the bed (snuck in after Wren was asleep) so the order was Me, Wren, Shana, and Trinity was blissfully asleep on the couch pulled up next to the other side of the bed. I felt a little foot kick me in the back but I wasn't sure, then I heard some sounds like restless sleep and figured Wren had turned over. In a few moments I though to myself, "wow, Wren has some really bad breath". Then I heard Wren taking off her diaper, and jumped up, thinking-uh-uhn, not gonna happen. She took her diaper off and started crying. She hates being dirty. I don't quite remember who had the realization first, but the light went on...and...there...it...was. Poopageddon.

4:30 am adrenaline rush. Help clean Wren, clean me, clean Shana, call housekeeping. (meanwhile Trinity is sawing logs) I call housekeeping. How may we help you? Our daughter went to the restroom in the bed. I'm sorry, restroom? We need new sheets there has been an accident in the bed. Accident. You want a pillow?(Please Lord, give me the gift of speaking in tongues, I can't think to translate now-my brain-the pile it is like Spider from Trainspotting-have mercy- No, I need sheets. How many? All. Hurry.

We continued to clean frantically. Cover the pile. Door knocks. Looks like a manager, he has one sheet. One sheet! Talk about bringing a knife to a gun fight. I pulled back the sheet to reveal the carnage and I could hear the themed to Psycho. Manager guys, turns and leaves. Obviously now realizes the graveness of the situation. he returns by himself with more sheets. He doesn't know what he is doing-moving to slow. I help him, Shana directs-no, grabs the ends and fold to the middle-the ends are clean- I keep hearing the ends are clean-then ends are clean...At last, the storm passes and the sheets are replaced. Adrenaline subsides and we collapse. All the while Trinity slept.

A few hours later we woke up. Today is the day we will get a "tour" of Nanning. We have not seen much of Nanning because we have been staying in our room trying to do our best not to overstimulate Wren. Not sure if this is possible, but we are trying. The Tour consists of one museum and a park. This city is gi-normous. Most of it new and accelerating growth like steroids. Huge structures going up in bunches. This is a "smaller" city with only 6.5 million people.

We went to a scenic mountain park to get a view of the city.

We stopped and got some pictures with our Chinese Zodiac signs.

Dog.

Rooster. 
 

Snake.

and our "golden" pig.

Seizing the opportunity,Trinity got her cowgirl on-


and some Kung Fu goodness

Then Trin and I hiked up the Pagoda. Amazing view. Shana stayed in the car with Wren. Wise choice it was about 10 stories tall, no a/c and a narrow staircase.

Dude was up top strumming away. sounded cool on the way up.

Now it was off to the Guangxi Minority Cultural Museum.

This was a pretty amazing place. Here we can find out about Wren's ethnicity, which we believe is Zhuang. It chronicles the customs and clothing, and we could buy a souvenir unique to her city.

Cool Kung Fu stuff too.

Word got out about Trinity and Shana touring. So the fans flocked.

Look who I got to finally hold after 4 days. She was asleep so I snuck in undetected.

I took full advantage of the situation.

and then back to the hotel for a nap.

Once we got back the sprinkler malfunctioned in our room. Chaos ensued, but we got an Upgrade!!! the night before, Wren did a faceplant and got a carpet burn on her chin. So some of the future picks will show her "owwie".

Later that evening I could tell that she was still pretty sad. Then my parental instincts set in. I had scoped out a little children's play park in the mall, and there was ice cream at the KFC. Those two combined are a guaranteed smile maker. We went to KFC first and once I had the cone I quickly touched her lips with the ice cream (knowing she would not try it from me) Her tongue quickly darted out and her head nodded. I had her, hook, line and sinker. How Choo! How Choo! (delicious)

Afterwards we went to the park and she completely lit up, she ran and played and was a happy as a 2.5 year old could be. It did our hearts good after all she had been through in the past few days. It actually made me tear up a bit. She deserved some unbridled joy and I was happy to contribute.

Shana came up to me later and said, "ice cream makes everything better". And who can argue?